MY PLAYS
A FINE FUNERAL - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 male, 1 female. An estranged sister and brother come reunite for their strange mother’s funeral. Performed by Heartland Theatre Company, Illinois. One of eight plays selected out of 150 submitted. Performed in June 2003.
ALL’S NOT OK AT THE I’M OK CORRAL - Full-length courtyard farce about what happens when a world-famous guru dies unexpectedly while visiting a run-down spiritual center outside of Taos, New Mexico.
AM I RIGHT? - Comedy, 15-20 minutes; 1 female, 2 males. A tale told by a self-absorbed person who sees only his life and not much beyond. However, his personal Bad Day at Black Rock ends around midnight when he catches both his wife and his best friend together in a surprising collaboration. Performed: New Rave Festival, Stark Raving Theatre, October 2000; Northwest Playwrights Guild (NWPG) April Foolery Festival of Plays, April 2001; The Pregnant Chad New Plays Festival, February 2001, Newburgh, New York; Concepts: New Playwrights One Act Festival, June 2001, New York City. Excerpt published by Smith & Kraus. Indie film made based on the play.
BE MY GHOUL - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. A struggling ad agency pitches an unusual pro bono account and the two pitchers fall in love. Honorable mention at ShowOff Festival, Camino Real Playhouse, San Juan Capistrano, CA. Staged reading at The Union Hall Drama Club, for their “Script Tease” evening, Brooklyn, NY, Oct. 2009.
BEOWULF’S WULF - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 1 male, 2 males or females. A play about unsung heroes, especially man's best friend. Beowulf and Wulf, his loyal and faithful, some say heroic, dog, destroy the man-eating monster Grendel. But when it comes time to retell the tale, there's only room for one hero, and four legs loses out to two.
BEST SERVED COLD - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 male, 1 female. A department store manager argues with a customer who wishes to return a surprise gift from her former husband. Staged reading at Playreaders’ Theatre, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
BORDER CROSSING - Comedy, 10 minutes; 4 males, 2 females. Senior citizens get caught trying to sneak into Mexico to enjoy the great American retirement dream of a reduced cost of living and cheap prescription drugs. Selected by Subversive Theatre, Buffalo, NY, for their Subversive Shorts series.
CAMP NEOCONNIE - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 3 males. A satire about two conservative summer camp counselors who must convince a young camper to pull off a panty raid. Performed at the Third Ashland 10-Minute Play Festival, July 2004 and by InTouch Theatre Productions, NYC, for Oktoberfest, a series of plays on current themes that ran the last week in October 2004. One of two "featured playwrights" during the festival. Also performed at Project Playwright II: The Show, MADAIR Productions, NYC, November 2006.
THE CASE OF THE MISSING KNOW-IT-ALL - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 male, 3 females. What happens when an aging Sherlock Holmes, now with a family of his own, is forced into retirement before he is ready? A twist on how one strange family deals with retirement. Produced by ShowOff! 2017, San Juan Capistrano, California; produced by Minnesota Short Plays Festival, September 2017; produced as part of the prestigious Pick of the Vine festival by Little Fish Theatre, San Pedro, California, Jan-Feb 2018.
CELEBRITY SIGHTING - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 females, 1 male. Two middle-aged mid-Westerners vacationing in L.A. think they've spotted a celebrity in a fancy restaurant. When they engage in a conversation with the "celebrity," things take an interesting turn in this updated twist on seeing ourselves as others see us.
CONVERSATIONS ON THE CUTTING EDGE OF SHALLOW: An evening of short plays by Mark Saunders. Produced by Linda Gillen and Einstein's Bastards, a Legitimate Theatre Company, at the Cornelia Street Café, in New York City, October 2003. Plays included: "Am I Right?"; "Sitcom"; "Delgado’s Mask"; "Oedipus and Hamlet Walk into a Bar."
DEC. 26 - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 males. A play about what happens once Ebenezer Scrooge is no longer visited by bothersome spirits and finally gets a good night’s sleep under his belt. Woe is Cratchit. Staged reading at The Union Hall Drama Club for their Script Tease evening, Brooklyn, NY, Dec. 2009. Staged reading at Playreaders’ Theatre, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
DELGADO’S MASK - Comedy, 20 minutes; 1 female, 1 male. A creepy love story set inside of a big city video store on Halloween night. First performed at the Cornelia Street Café, in New York City, October 2003; also performed as part of the "Love Notes" series, Denver’s Dangerous Theatre, Denver, Colorado, February 2008. Performed by RTR, Portland, Oregon, April 2010. Produced by Diez Minutos International 10-Minute Play Festival, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
DINNER IS NOW NOT BEING SERVED - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1F, 1M. A wife invites her team from work to her house for a murder mystery dinner as a team building exercise. Her husband has other ideas.
ENDOMORPHS, UNITE! - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 1 female, 2 males. An unemployed husband must pass a urine test to get a job and brings his wife, who is employed, with him to the clinic. When she leaves the room her husband talks to the only other man in the room, a guy who needs to pass the test but knows he cannot. The two men strike up a bargain only things don’t work out as planned. Top Ten Winner, 2002 North Bay Scripts Festival, Sonoma, California
THE GREYBACK PAYBACK - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1F, 2M. Two men face arbitration over a labor dispute. The devil hides in the details in this twist on walking the talk. Productions: Actors’ Theatre of Santa Cruz, California, for their annual month-long festival scheduled to open the first weekend in January 2019.
GUBMINT - Comedy, 15 minutes; 1 female, 1 male. An animal control officer gets more than she bargained for when she stops by a house to issue a citation to a curmudgeon. Performed at Readers Repertory Theatre, April 2011, Portland, Oregon. Also performed in June 2011 by Subversive Theatre, Buffalo, NY.
HALF ALLIGATOR, HALF MAN - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 1 male and 2 males or females. A tale about a job interview gone sour, during which a frustrated job seeker struggles to rise about ageism.
I BELIEVE IN CHARLIE O'CONNELL - Comedy, monologue, 10 - 12 minutes; 1 female. In this monologue, a middle-aged woman living in the San Francisco Bay Area recalls a dream she had in 1962 after listening to President Kennedy announce the Cuban blockade. Awards: First Place Winner, 2002 North Bay Scripts Festival, Sonoma, California.
THE JOB FAIRY - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 female, 1 male. A whimsical twist on the Puritan ethic, a tweaking of the Good Employee’s nose, as well as a finger pointed at the corporate world that ow refers to those good employees as "Human Capital." Performed: Ashland New Plays Festival, 2001, Ashland, Oregon; ShowOff! 2001, San Juan Capistrano, California, October 2001. Awards: Honorable Mention, ShowOff! 2001; Madness Short Play Festival, June 2005, Turtleshell Productions, NYC.
LIFE PARTNER 2.0 - Comedy, 12-15 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. Some birds mate for life, but what happens when you’re with the wrong mate?
THE LINE FORMS IN MY REAR - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. Unable to sleep, a disagreeable man makes the wrong impression on his doctor. Performed by InTouch Theatre Productions, NYC, for Oktoberfest, a series of plays on current themes that ran the last week in October 2004. One of two "featured playwrights" during the festival. Awards: Excerpt from play published by Smith & Krauss in December 2005.
MACBETA: THE TRAGEDY OF THE PRE-IPO SCOTTISH KING - Comedy, 20 minutes; combination of 5 characters, mixed gender casting. In "MacBeta," I tried to capture a small taste of the silliness behind the dot-com-today, dot-gone-tomorrow e-ticket ride known as high tech.
OEDIPUS AND HAMLET WALK INTO A BAR - Comedy, 12-15 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. A conversation between two friends in a bar turns ugly when Ed tells Ham he thinks Ham’s mother is "hot" and he wouldn’t mind doing her. Performed in Portland, Oregon, at Co-Ho theatre. Performed in NYC by Einstein's Bastards, directed by Linda Gillen. Staged reading at Playreaders’ Theatre, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
O. HENRY’S SHOE - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. An older man missing a shoe persuades a younger man to give him one of his in this morality tale about modern generosity. Winner of the Mercey Award (Grand Prize), Actoberfest, Secret Rose Theatre, NoHo Arts District, CA, October 2008. Produced by Diez Minutos International 10-Minute Play Festival, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
OUR SONG – Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 male, 1 female. The marriage of a romantic and cynic is put to the test when they argue over whether they need their own song, ultimately taking their marriage in a dangerous direction. Performed at Readers Repertory Theatre, April 2011, Portland, Oregon; Dangerous Love, Fourteen Out of Ten Productions, NYC, Oct. 2012. Produced as part of San Miguel Playwrights’ Annual Showcase, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
PLAYTHINGS - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 females, 1 male. Three toys abandoned in an attic learn they are to be sold at a garage sale. Performed by Heartland Theatre Company, Illinois, in late Spring 2005. Published by Smith & Kraus. Performed by Hollins University, Virginia, November 2010. Performed by The Reedy Point Players of Delaware on Feb 18-20, 2011. Scheduled for production in Capital BlueCross Theatre’s Summer ’17 PASSIONS, a theatrical showcase of monologues, scenes and short plays, in Summerdale, PA, this September. Moonlighting 2017: Go Rogue!, Ashland Contemporary Theatre, Ashland, Oregon
THE PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN IN SPITE OF HIMSELF - Comedy, 12 minutes; 3 males, 2 females. A young traveling musician must decide between playing what his heart tells him to play and what a bar’s patrons want to hear. Comedy, 10-12 minutes, 4 males, 2 females. Performed in New York City, August 2003, 3rd Annual Pregnant Chad New Plays Festival.
THE RUNNING MATE - Comedy, 10-12 minutes; 3 males, 1 female. A major political party's nominee for President shakes up his campaign at the last minute when he selects an unusual running mate. Special performance at the Willamette Writers Conference; Actors Theatre of Santa Cruz, Ca. for their annual festival of 10-minute plays; The Reedy Point Players of Delaware in February of 2012.
SIDEKICKS - Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 female, 3 males. A group therapy session for sidekicks suffering from low self-esteem gets a jolt when Robin, Boy Wonder, arrives late for their regular session. He brings with him a mysterious bowling bag, upsetting fellow members Friar Tuck and Sancho Panza. Performed at Second Ashland 10-Minute Play Festival, January 2004; performed in upstate New York at the Pregnant Chad New Plays Festival in October 2004.
SILVER CITY - Dramedy, 30 minutes; 1 female, 2 males. When a 30-something male determined to live to 125 decides to move to the safest place in America to improve his longevity chances, his odds get suddenly dimmer. A play that reminds us it’s not the number of years you have but what you do with those years that matters.
SITCOM - Comedy, 15 minutes; 2 females, 1 male. A man walks into a bar and notices two women in the bar, one on a stool and the other at a table, off to the side. He sits at the bar, a few spots away from the woman. Without warning she makes a silly remark. He interprets her remark as an invitation to reply in kind. He does and they begin sparring, in a game of one-upmanship. Productions: Northwest Playwrights Guild (NWPG) April Foolery Festival of Plays, April 2000, Portland, Oregon; Twist Theater, Peppermint Shrimp: A Tasty Evening of Comic Theatre, July-August 2000, Hillsboro, Oregon; The Pregnant Chad New Plays Festival, February 2001, Newburgh, New York; Concepts: New Playwrights One Act Festival, June 2001, New York City. Also performed as part of the Sweet & Sour series of plays about relationships, Cornelia Street Café, New York City, February 2004. Staged reading at Playreaders’ Theatre, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Staged reading at Playreaders’ Theatre, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico; San Miguel Writer’s Conference and Literary Festival, Feb. 2018, one of only three plays presented in front of more than 600 people; Moonlighting 2018: Go Rogue!, Ashland Contemporary Theatre, Ashland, Oregon
SOME PEOPLE SAY - Dark Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 females, 1 male. A wounded Army vet tries to protect his little sister from their paranoid mother, a widow who believes in conspiracy theories. Performed as part of Source Festival 2017; one of only six 10-minute plays selected out of more than 450 entries. Picked up for publication by Smith & Kraus, scheduled for release in Sept. of 2018.
SPOUSED - Comedy, 10-12 minutes, 1 female, 2 males. A young telemarketer for a regional theatre company learns how to close the deal from his supervisor. A play for theatre lovers about love, divorce, and the pitfalls of pitching the next season. Performed by the California University of PA Drama dept. as part of their annual One-Act Festival, fall of 2009; “Fertile Ground 2010,” Portland, Oregon; ShowOff! 2013, San Juan Capistrano, California; Honorable Mention, ShowOff 2013.
THREE CHEERS FOR LEWIS AND CLARK ("Packaging"; "Whale Watching"; "Minor Adjustments.") - Three comedy sketches with 3 males, 2 females, combined runtime approximately 30 minutes. Performed by Simple Salmon Sketch Comedy Group, Astoria, Oregon. Packaging also performed separately at ShowOff! 2005, Camino Real Playhouse, San Juan Capistrano, CA.
'TILL DEATH DO US? – Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 female, 1 male. Through an unexpected change in the law, a divorced couple suddenly - and unhappily - find themselves still married to each other.
TWO PEOPLE Comedy - 10 minutes; 1F, 1M. In the Afterlife, a married couple find they are not "parted" and remain together where, over lunch, they try to understand what went wrong with their marriage. Eternity is two people and a ham, according to Dorothy Parker. Productions: Stray Kats Theatre Company, 2nd annual Still Crazy After All These Years festival, June 2018, Newtown, Connecticut; Cascades Theatrical Company, 2018 Cascades 10 Festival, Oct. 4-7, 2018, Bend, Oregon; Clairmont Act One, San Diego, Nov. 16-24, 2018
THE WHOLE TOOTH – Comedy, 10 minutes; 1 female, 1 male. A man loses a tooth during sex with his lover, creating new hurdles in their relationship.
WHO’S ON FAUST? - Comedy, 10 minutes; 2 males, 1 female. The fire and brimstone business gets a reality check. Published by Smith & Kraus.
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I’m pleased to announce that I am a founding member of Nameless Playwrights Group, a new playwrights group dedicated to creating original plays for all ages. I’m one of eight founding members and we’re all over 60. You could say we’re Portland’s “newest-oldest” playwrights group. Shortly after its formation, Nameless Playwrights(NP) joined in a fiscal partnership with Bump in the Road Theatre, sharing many of the same goals (www.bumpintheroad.org)